So

Lauren is very upset.
Something important to her was lost, by someone who used to be important to her.
Not happy
not....happy

Anyway, My new book came! Its really fabby and super marvy!!!! Sooooo funny! i'm Also re-reading scarlett, the sequel to gone with the wind....it makes me want to go to ireland n_n.
Theatres going really well, and Em and I despite the amount of time spent in each others company are still bffs!

I am the Who when you call Who's there?

So i haven't posted in forever! Since almost a year and a half ago!
So here is the update on the craziness of Mcnabb's life. I am now a sophomore at Alma with a declared history, and an undeclared political science major. I am involved in a organization called Active minds which works to promote education on mental illness (shush josh....shush).. I quit cheer because of painful joints (god I'm ollllllld). Also I don't like to stay where people obviously are ostracizing me and don't want me there, sooo pointless. Last night was walk-outs for sororities and I pledged KI (deffo the most awesome one!).
I misses my kitties.......and somehow even my siblings. This weekend is homecoming, so the parental units are coming up, wootness.
Also the new Georgia Nicolson book (are these my basoomas i see before me?) is out and i pre-ordered it forever ago so I should get that tomorrow (excited)
Classes are awesome lots of Gen Eds!!
Well thats all for now...signing out!

A Malestorm of Old Stuff

Just some older pieces I found whilst rooting through the outermost reaches of my computer.
Enjoy
-------------------------

Tower

So there's this princess, in her shining tower of gold, with everything she could ever want. The tower could give anything, great parents, a supportive set of friends, even an amazing tutor, to show her all she needed to know. Still she was not content. She ventured out of the tower, and into the forest beyond. And she stumbled upon her knight. In the short time they met, he showed her great things about herself, made her question her gilded cage. The knight showed her the darkest places of her soul; but never showed the man, under his armor. With the armor ever between them, the princess ran away, back to her golden tower, and sequestered herself there, attempting to hide herself away again, expecting him to follow her, foolishly. Unable to ignore the wound he had left on her, she continued to view him from the barred windows. She watched him through his pain and wept for him, for her own inaction. She watched him fall in love again, and ride off into his own sunset. She wept for her ignorance, and wept for the cage she had put herself in. She wished for the tower to give him to her, and the tower provided not him, but a replacement, in whom she immersed herself, yet who could not satisfy the hole in her heart. So the princess faded, with the tower, and the remnants of her fabulous life. She joined with the forest, attempting to find another knight.

-------------------------

Flower

So this maid is wandering in the forest, flower picking of all things, searching for the perfect one. She finds it, an unusual bloom, with slips of yellow, pink and blue. The beauty of nature, springing to life. Nevertheless, she leaves it there for a time, confident it will wait. She stumbles upon another flower, not nearly as beautiful or fragrant, but much easier to pick. That flower wilts, after all the fun. So then, she skips back, looking for her perfect flower, but that chance has departed. All she can do is cry, for that which was lost; all for the fact it was her fault. Yet still she is not sure, the purpose of the flower in her life. However, she knows she must let it go. Rain begins to fall, covering her in warmth, cleansing her soul. The rain washes all away including the mud exposing a single bloom. A beautiful sight, of all the colors a flower should be, she settles down, content to wait, observing its struggles, hoping for the best. Because that's what it all comes down to, H-O-P-E, hope.

-------------------------

Wedding Rhyme

Something old,
My bleeding heart,
an 'oft repeated theme.

Something new,
fey shining knife,
wicked blade plunged in me.

Something borrowed,
conditional love,
your bequeath to her.

Something blue,
cleansing rain
tears I cannot shed.

Wedding rhyme,
within this verse
my story for you to see.

-------------------------

If We Have Forever, Why Not Waste Today?

If we have forever,
why not waste today?

Age of 18
world all in view brushing fingertips.

Cap and Gowncold,
artifact of a second.

If we have forever,
why not waste today?

Suddenly,

Screech

Crash

Boom!

A thousand sounds intrude.
then...

silence

If we don't have forever,
why waste today?

-------------------------

The Greatest Sin (One of my favorites!)

As the light began to fade,
from her deep blue eyes
the man looked down at his blood stained hands,
wondering why?
Why the life,more dear to him than all?

Staring at pale perfection,
sanctity unsullied,
even paled by death,
memories flit through his mind,
Of warm laughter, and love,
of joy shared,
and dreams begot.

Cradling her still,
for the first time
in her presence,
the man began to cry.
Hot tears splashing down,to rest upon,
her cold, ivory cheeks.

Now, he felt the briefest stirrings,
of life within her breast,
and, glancing into her dull eyes,
recoiling,
for what could she say,
except to curse him,with her last breath.

But unable to shun his dear one,
looking deep into her once-sparkling eyes.
He heard the slightest whisper,
escape her perfect lips.
Leaning closer,
so he could listen to what his baby said,
with her last breath.

He heard three words,
only intensifying his guilt.
Three words,
she breathed out in such pain,
wounded his heart like no others could.

Fearfully unequal to,
the love of his angel.
He took up the gun,
which had split her life's blood,
and turned it upon his own head.

Pulling the trigger,
finding,
even in death,
he could not escape,
those words she breathed,
with her last breath.
Forgiving, confessing,
she loved him still.

So his spirit roams,
tormented by his grief,
his guilt.
Seeking expiation for his crime,
of destroying the precious gem,
that he had taken to protect.
Committing the greatest sin,
in his life.

-------------------------

BTK (Loosely based, and inspired by a letter he sent to the media, I was reading it and went "hmmm this sounds kinda lyrical.............LET'S MAKE A POEM OUT OF IT!!" lol)

I do not know
When this monster did
Enter into me
But here he is
And here to stay
Wrecking havoc on society

I apologize for the mess
this demon has begun
But then again
Society
Should be thanking life
That there are ways
For this demon
To relive himself day and night

Dreaming of his victims
Tortured and being his

Maybe you can stop him
I know that I can not
The leviathan has chosen
The next player in his plot

And now here is the epithet
For this beast of mine
Bind Them Torture Them Kill Them
the initials BTK

I regretfully must wrap up
This petite missive you read
So I leave you
With this expression of sincerity

Yours, Truly Guilty

------------------------

Tell Me

You see me everyday
running to and fro
you insist you see me

But do you see behind the walls,
behind the mask and the gilded lies?

Do you see me?
The scars on my heart,
the pain in my eyes?

Do you love me?
With every imperfection,
every salty hot tear?

Do you care?
Every sill mistake,
every unfounded fear?

How can you love me.
when with every word,
every move,
I drive you farther away from here.

Show me you see.

Tell me you love.

Show me you care.

-------------------------

So there it is folks, a glimpse into the gothic basement of my mind, or at least my mind about a year ago.
Love ya's

-Ashleigh-

Hold Me

Duct Tape dreams, Pumpkin Carriage
Mice as Footmen, Castle Marriage
Perfect Bliss, Cardboard Umbrella
Hold
Fairy Godmother, Cinderella
Me
All as real as gilded lead
Forever
Just hang on tighter
And together we can weather,
any storm life throws our way.
Because darling, Disney lies.
So please just,
Hold me Forever

Perfect Imperfection

One day I was drifting amongst the crowd, soaking in the word of the masses; The currents of life caressing me. I saw a manequin, oh she was gorgeous. Perfect blonde hair, painted grey eyes, she was so precise men would stop and stare. I found myself wondering, what was it about her that was so impressing, what drew us in so much. It was perfection, perfection that drew our gaze. Looking around, finding I was not the only one enthralled, I turned back to ponder this madonna of wood and plastic. I found in her eyes no warmth, no humor or spark of life. It chilled me. Is our world so expectent of perfection that we look for it in the products of our own hands? When we find perfection is unatainable by our own mere mortals, do we look to our immortals? Or superheros in the sky. We create for ourselves perfect deitys, living ideals . Now we have an excuse for our only human imperfection, for no one can be god[s]. Humans are so afraid of failure, looking for any means to justify. Tearing myself away from the immortal doll, diving into the swirl of persons, covering myself in perfect, imperfection.

America

This is something my friend recently sent me
America Needs A Leader Like This! Prime Minister John Howard - Australia Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks. Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.' 'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'. 'We speak mainly ENGLISH; not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society. Learn the language!' 'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.' 'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why all we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.

''This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this." But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.''If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'
Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.

(this is actually her speaking now, not the chain email)-

People need to deal with the fact that America has god in it. You aren’t required to say the pledge of allegiance. If you want, I’m sure you could bring in your own pledge of whatever. We’re cool with that. But isn’t telling us to stop talking about God just as bad as oppressing your rights to worship? LEAVE EVERYBODY ELSE THE HELL ALONE. If you don’t like what they’re saying, move on. Don’t go get your lawyer every time you get a kick in the balls. Stand up for yourself and who you are, but don’t make others back down. That’s not what America stands for.

My response-

No America stands for the MELDING of people not the divisions. America does not have god in it, America has gods in it, saying that we are an inherently christian country and that others just have to deal with that is moronic. One of the main tenets of our constitution is the separation of the church and state (from ANY church) and the freedom to worship anyway they please. What's being said is, stop dragging your god into the public arena, and we'll do the same. You wouldn't want politicians to be deciding their stance based on the green man, the lady, allah, or zeus, why should christianity be any different? Honestly this leader sounds intensely xenophobic, what if they decide that wiccans are the threat or mormons, or even atheists? Saying just because you live under sharia (which by they way is only violent when they're perverted) you should leave is fucking ridiculous! I would be terrified if someone like this came to power in America, simply because these statements encourage a xenophobic and racist mindset. Someone like that coming to power would mean that we as a country had lost everything that we stood/stand for, we would have lost the principles our government was built on to such a point that we would no longer be America, the land of opportunity.
And where would America be with out immigrants? They built this country, we need to make it easier to become part of the fabric of America, not harder, because they don't speak english well, or might be a slightly more orthodox form of their religion.
America is COMPROMISE that means giving up and gaining to get a solution that makes everyone happy, not just catering to the majority."The test of courage comes when one is in the minority; the test of tolerance comes when one is in the minority"